No Title for You
by ThoseFanFicGirls
Summary: Saix works at a DMV and Axel wants to get a motorcycle. Snark ensues. Oneshot. Jay-wa


Saix let out a sigh of utter boredom as the woman turned to head to station number one where she would get her new license plates and stickers. Aside from how tedious the task had been, she had been somewhat prepared. Unfortunately, he was far from done as he checked the roster and the cluster of seats. They were pretty much full, and none of the others in line looked like a promising bunch.

"Number eight," he called out, almost groaning out loud when he saw the man who held that number card. He was tall and looked like he was just skin and bones, with bright red hair haphazardly gelled into some sort of hedgehog interpretation of spikes. Eyeliner was smeared around his eyes, looking like it was from last night or a few nights ago, and he was clad in only a white t-shirt, complete with what looked like pizza stains, and black shorts covered in flames. Wait... those weren't shorts; they were boxers.

What the hell was this dumbass doing here? And why the hell had Cathy let him get this far with no pants?

"Hi," Spikes said with a lopsided smile which was probably supposed to be charming.

"Hello, what would you like to do today?" Saix sighed, taking the number card and figuring he had better just try to get this over with.

"I need to get some plates for my new bike," Spikes said, waving some papers.

"Ah huh, well, then I need the title and a driver's license." He glanced up at Spikes from his computer.

"The title... Um, I think I have that here," Spikes said, rummaging through his papers.

"It's that purple page right there," Saix sighed, feeling a headache begin just between his eyes.

"Right!"

Saix stared at the sorry looking title that was handed to him. It looked like the poor thing had been used as a coaster and some of the information looked a little bit sketchy.

"Okay then, I need you to put the odometer reading on that line and then sign down here and put your address here," Saix indicated for what felt like the millionth time today on the piece of paper. Spikes dutifully copied everything and slid his license over.

Saix looked at the license-apparently Spikes's name was Axel-and rolled his eyes. "I can't transfer the title over to you," he said with finality and slid it back over to Axel.

"Aww, why not?" Axel pouted. Was he seriously pouting? Yes, yes he was.

"Well, for one, you don't have the proper license for a motorcycle so I can't give you plates for it."

"Whaddya mean?" Axel studied his license, probably trying to prove Saix wrong. Too bad for him, but Saix was rarely wrong in this sort of thing. "It's still a valid license. Doesn't expire for two years."

"That may be, but it's a class D, standard type license. You need a class M or L for a motorcycle depending on what type of bike you have." He looked at the title. "Class M actually."

"Okay, Saix," Axel made a face at Saix's name. It may not have been a normal name but at least it wasn't a stupid one like Axel. "You seem like a nice guy."

"I can assure you I am no such thing."

"Well, you seem like a nice guy who's really understanding and stuff. See, I need this bike for important matters that might be difficult to explain."

"Try me, I'm sure you just want it to look cool in front of all of your friends. Well, it won't be happening today."

"But it could," Axel met Saix's eyes and gave that dumb flirty smile again. "See, like I said, you seem like a really nice guy. Maybe you could, I dunno, file the papers and everything and not say anything about this license."

And lose my job for a loser like you? Not a chance, dumbass. Saix grumbled in his mind.

"Let me explain this to you in small words since your tiny brain probably needs it. In what strange sad universe would I risk my job and waive the fees and actual licensing process to let you have this motorcycle. I'll give you a hint since you're slower than a one-legged tortoise. That universe does not and will never exist. You can either go back to 'Start Here' and get a learner's permit or you can leave. Those are your two options that are open to you right now."

"And you're absolutely sure about this?" Axel asked, fluttering his eyes.

"Tch, yes get out," Saix snapped, pointing at the door.

Huffing, Axel shoved away from the counter and headed to the end of the 'Start Here' line, pouting the whole way.

Saix groaned and got up from his desk. This was going to be a hard headache to banish. Only four hours until he could leave. Hopefully these other idiots would be more prepared.


End file.
